Walking

Let me try this again. I was just writing on this blog and all of a sudden everything stopped and new updates started loading or down loading, who knows. All I know is everything I just wrote went somewhere in space. Anyway what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted is that on Tuesday I rode my motorcycle for a while. It is not as fun as it was before Jed passed away. I find myself thinking about Jed and missing him constantly. On the way back home I stopped by the cemetery where Jeds ashes are buried. That just sounds so wrong. While I was there I could see Jed and I and Emitt (our awesome dog who also passed away from cancer) running and playing through the cemetery. I could picture me chasing Jed and him laughing , as I would almost get to him. And the dog running crazy because I would let him off the leash. We had our different spots we would walk to. Different benches on different graves. Jed was only about three and four. Before he was diagnosed with leukemia .Depending on how Jed felt is how we would determine which bench we would go to. I walk pretty fast and don't realize that I am walking fast, and would almost forget that Jed was a little boy. He would let me know that I needed to slow down, unless we were racing. Jed loved to walk and run. The one bench that was the farthest away was next to a field of tall grass or weeds. The grass was as tall as Jed was. Emitt would go out there and chase things. The grass was taller than Emitt and he would hop like a rabbit . He looked so funny. Jed would crack up laughing. Sometimes we would all lay on the grass by the bench and look at the clouds. It would be the dog, Jed and I just laying there. We would do these walks quite a lot during the summer in the evening. About an hour before it would turn dark we would start, and arrive back home in the dark. Sometimes all of us would walk there. Kristin, Jed, sometimes Savannah and I plus the dog. I love all my children and was not the best father or husband when I was younger. Jed showed me what I missed with my son and daughter. Jed really did save my life and showed me how to live. I am a real slow learner. Oh boy.......